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    I want to apologize, I’ve kept everyone in the dark to what was going on. I’m really sorry.

    It’s hard to say in public, but for years I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety and thought these caused my inability to focus. I have taken Welbutrin medication for several years now for depression, and it worked great from feeling lethargic and down. Just the last two years or so, I’ve learned how to live and deal with my anxiety, which was thought to have made me depressed. I felt I was doing pretty well on my own with friends and therapist, but last month, my doctor wanted me to take Paxil to help with it more.

    The pharmacist warned that Paxil and Welbutrin together greatly lowers resistance to seizures, and sure enough, a few days after I began I had quite a few of them! Some of them severe, others were more mild. I immediately stopped taking both meds, but was still getting odd side effects/withdrawal effects. I went to the ER/hospital a few times because of seizures and anxiety. I don’t remember a lot during that week.

    I began seeing a new behavioral therapist shortly after. Because of my current  desperate situation at the time I saw her twice a week. After a couple of weeks of talking and marking questionnaires, I was diagnosed with ADD inattentive type.

    It’s not life-threatening, but, I reacted poorly to it for the last two weeks. I’ve spent most of my life obsessed with techniques to stay focused and drawing, without the need of outside help to bother anyone with. I felt so ashamed, like I could have gotten a handle on this regardless. It was really only since the past couple of days I realize over all these years the techniques that have worked for me always required help from others. Be it my personal whipcracker, livestreaming, or having the family hide the cord to the modem. (lol)

    I’m very thankful to my family and friends, especially Alice whom let me know it’s okay to ask and accept help. Thank you everyone for the well-wishes and concern. Again, I’m sorry it took so long to say anything. I’m wiped from fretting about it, and now to take a more positive look ahead.

     

    apology 

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